The Empress new wind farm

Empress Star Shameberg, who in Liv Marie Sandve’s fairy tale so strongly wants to impress the Great Abroad with her “green” wind industry investment. Illustration: Christina Fjeldavli.

OPINION (political satire) by Liv Marie Sandve
Original in Norwegian first published in

Once upon a time, there was an Empress by the name of Star Shameberg. She ruled the Empire of Naivety, and her urge to impress the Great Abroad was so dominant that she ended up spending half the Empire’s money bin to please it.

She did not have an appreciable amount of care for the opinion or feelings of her people, but she loved the remains of the unique sceneries of the Empire, which they all shared as long as it was still declared the common ground. The nature was not preferential to the commoners simply because they had been residents for decades, she stated in conversations with the Great Abroad. To her, it was mainly a means to achieve popularity and gain prestigious assignments among the powerful members of the Great Abroad.

She was having conversations with people of high influence on long-distance calls several times a day, and from time to time she went traveling with delegations to investigate their desires. And as they say about a king that he is in Minister of State, people always stated: the Empress is on the phone!

In the big city where she lived, it was festive, because every day there were visitors. And one day some cheaters came to visit. They claimed to have the mandate to save the earth, and through tiny, green windmills it was bound to happen. These beautiful windmills had the wondrous capability of distinguishing people. To people who did not want the earth to be saved, or who was stupid and even unsuitable, these windmills appeared to be destructive monsters desolating the earth, the natural resources, and the welfare of the commoners. But in reality, the cheaters claimed, the windmills were the perfect means to save the earth and bring fame and acknowledgment from a broader range of VIP circles to the Empress and
her ministers.

Instead of traveling with delegations, she could have the Empire transformed into a windmill paradise which the Great Abroad would storm in droves to celebrate. This paradise, they explained, would be made from cute windmills as those seen in postcards, surrounded by innocent duck ponds and bountiful fields from tulips in all the colours of the rainbow. In this manner the important people would be tempted to see for themselves what good the Empress and her team were up to, creating green value electrifying the oil shelf (though the latter was known to be rather filthy, despite their spending tens of billions on symbolic politics of ZERO global greenhouse effect).

– And the benefits for birds and insects, Empress! one of the cheaters exclaimed spontaneously, repeatedly drawing the picture of abundant flowery meadows and paths beautifully curving between ponds, golden from sunshine.

– This certainly does sound like an alluring farm, the Empress thought.
– If I allow them to build this, the whole world will be admiring me. It will appear as if I, the Empress, have saved the earth! -Yes, she thought resolutely. -These farms must be built, the more the better! She remembered the deal that her flimsy stepbrother Fjonas Gore Stare and his furious aunt Tjo Harem Rutland somehow managed to arrange, years back.

The deal was named AUCH, being strangely similar to the AU union in reality. -The windmill farms go perfectly along with the AUCH deal, the Empress chuckled fulfilled. -This fairytale has been in the making of
Fjonas and his buddies Pest en Black Feudé and Cola Sport & Mow for decades!

The cheaters discreetly traveled all around the Empire, looking for the most wonderful locations. They cunningly knocked on the landowners’ doors, pleading to buy their land. And perhaps the village could use a new gravel path? Rudely and without shame they bribed their way across the Empire, without the knowledge of one single newspaper editorial. This complete ignorance was the proud achievement of thousands of communication advisors hired by the Empress.

– My dear gatekeepers, she used to say to them. -What on earth would I do without you! When critical voices still were to be heard, help was willingly being conducted by Coward Etil Blund from the Watery and Lousily Reasoned Licencing Decisions of the Empire (WLE), using a standard form watermarked “made in China” sounding: “The benefits exceed the disadvantages”. This spell had been hung under a cooling umbrella with magical powers and influence from the Energy Act, to eliminate any possible obstacle. Influence from The Building Act had been easy to get rid of.

And so the cheaters continued their deceitful journey through Naivety, tempting with parks, ducks, and tulips, yes even employment and tax revenues for the municipalities. They were determined to intervene in all of the wilderness and untouched nature with at least 40 000 giant wind turbines, hopefully, more, as the distance limits were more beneficial here compared to the Great Abroad. This would be rather easy to carry through because people had intentionally not been informed at all of their comprehensive plans. Everything about it had to be seemingly unproblematic, green, and sustainable, while the many dark sides of it had to be hidden and denied repeatedly and thoroughly.

Being highly experienced cheaters the knew exactly how to do this. They had gained a lot of strategies for earning money exploiting people and biodiversities earlier. – First, we took the Great Abroad, they said looking at each other. – Now we take the Empire! The development of the farms began, fully blessed by the Empress and her collaborators.

The cheaters then returned to the city, ensuring the commoners that this development was safe, green, and completely necessary. -This is paving the way for the green paradise they chuckled and laughed thinking of all the money the Empress had given them already. Their pants were close to dropping from the weight of gold coins in their pockets. -Time for another delivery to Gingerbread Island, they mumbled to each other. On this Island they were hiding the hundreds of millions they made selling the farms before the development had even begun, knowing that only idiots would buy the farms when they were finished.

All of a sudden a terrible noise was heard from dynamite and construction machinery. The mountains were blown to pieces, eagle’s nests shredded mid nesting and all the bustling life on the ground was overturned and buried. The birds were screaming to alert: danger, danger!

– I would jolly well care to know how far the development of the windmill farms has come! the Empress pondered, brooding the grand Kinder Egg she had received as a gift from the cheaters. But she found herself in a subtly worried state, considering the fact that those who did not want to save the earth would see the windmills as destructive monster turbines. Not that she needed to worry for her own sake. But she wished to send someone ahead just in case. Everybody had heard of the hypnotic powers of these windmills, and everyone was itching to see how bad or stupid their fellow was who couldn’t see it.

– I should send the relatively callous Minister Marion Netta Cruel to have a look at the farm, she figured. -She would be the right person to observe the windmills, she sure has an eye for money and international reputation, that girl! In the next moment, the young minister walked, a bit like a robot but staunchly as always, into the area of former Co2 stocking moorlands where the cheaters inspected underpaid slaves working day and night. – Good heavens! the young minister said horrified to herself. -This isn’t exactly a walk in the park! Though she was known for her lack of feelings, she now nauseously considered the vast massacred terrain where large beasts, 200 meters high, were fussing and crushing every bird gravitating towards the flashing red lights of the turbines.

The cheaters encouraged her to come closer and asked if she could see the marvelously natural green colour, pointing at the monstrous turbines which made her look like a tiny tin soldier. The mini minister continued to look, pale from obedient apathy. The truth was that this green appeared highly artificial to her, and no wonder due to the fact that it had been derived from toxic substances. – OMG! she said to herself. – Am I this stupid? That I have never believed, and nobody must know! Should I not be suitable for the highly prestigious and very well paid position I have been working relentlessly to achieve? No, I can not possibly express my inner thoughts or feelings about this catastrophic farm!

– Now, the minister has nothing to say about the windmills? one of the cheaters smirked. – Ehm, yes, they are, eh…they look…GREAT! she stuttered. – This farm is similar to a giant Kinder Egg! she said and assumed it would fall into good soil regarding that the Empress recently received such an egg as a gift from one of the cheaters. She managed to compose herself for a moment in spite of what she was witnessing. – What an amazing GREEN! I will be sending my regards from you to the Empress, elaborating on the excellence of this new, green oil!

– How good to know! The cheaters smiled smugly and responded by describing all the wonders they had promised and had been paid for, but which truly wasn’t there. The young minister listened carefully, to be able to repeat the content to the Empress and the Main Stream Media later, which she knew would be necessary. At this point, the cheaters demanded more money, more beautiful locations, and ZERO ground rent. This was decisive to be able to match the honorable and renewable hydropower of the Empire. This truly sustainable power was what they really wanted at the end of the day, as a green alibi highly needed in the Great Abroad.

The picturesque windmill farms remained a mere story, replaced by the unmistakable odor from pollutants and non-biodegradable materials, originating from production, development, and dismantling of the windmills.

Soon the Empress sent another errant Minister; young Clutterhead Porkwater, to witness the development of the marvelous windmills, the ponds, tulips, and ducks. He requested to be accompanied by Minister of Justice Erotica Stepmom Land, as someone had informed him the concessions connected to the parks came in at least 50 shades of grey, or even were literally illegal, but she had declined. – As long as everything is pleasing the investors, I really don’t give a dime about laws or biodiversity nor human rights being violated in the process, she had stated firmly.

So off he went, all by himself. It went with him as with Marion Netta. He looked and looked, but as there was nothing but fraud and environmental harm to see, he bewilderedly resorted to a poor hubro laying on the ground, badly injured after a rude encounter with an installation which could rightly be given the name murder turbine.

– I really care for the hubro! Clutterhead uttered and bent down to sort of sympathize with the bird. Furthermore, he felt a need to sit down, as his knees had suddenly gone strangely weak. He encouraged himself: – If I give the impression that I actually care for nature and whatever lives there, I can pretend that the Diversity Act is NOT being broken through the development of windmill farms every single day!

– Yes, aren’t the farms just lovely? the cheaters exclaimed and explained the close context between the windmills and saving the earth. Luckily they explained it because this was a tough one to figure out in Clutterheads own, private opinion. – But, I am not stupid! he said to himself. – It can’t be right that I should be unsuited to save the earth! he heard himself mumble, slightly desperate. Clearly he wanted to fulfill his assignment on saving the earth (which included keeping a keen eye on the expressions from commoners who opposed the windmill farms), given to him recently by the Empress herself. – How strange, he thought.

Then he straightened up, bragging about the artificial green which turned out to be very easily scratched off. The hubro had tapped it with its beak, and just below the surface, a colour emerged, so foul and dirty that Clutterhead never had seen anything like it. He could barely endure the bad smell from it. – I’ll just continue to pretend, he decided. He continued bragging about the beauty of the windmills and of how grateful he was to participate in this rescue, which he added was highly urgent. The cheaters agreed strongly to the latter, knowing that they had to hurry to fill the interconnectors with subsidies before the fraud would be revealed. – No scandal to worry about there, he later told the Empress. – On the contrary, we should let them develop loads of windmill farms, ASAP! And all of Main Stream Media chattered about these stately farms that would save the earth.

At this point, the Empress wanted to see them for herself, but first, she needed to remove some weeds from her garden. – Not In My Backyard, thank you very much! she said very satisfied, tossing the weeds away. She prepared to enjoy pure scenery free from windmills in Reiranger. – All these invitations to the windmill construction area on Easter Island make no sense in the middle of public holidays, now do they? she sighed to her agreeable and faithful collaborator Kindre.

As she finally became available for a visit to the farms, she decided she might as well bring a leash of her closest collaborators, who all agreed on the supremacy of their choices concerning the green certificates, even though the former Emperor Brake Boltenberg had made significant efforts to stop them, warning against both abuse of the certificates and something dangerous he referred to as the environmental industrial complex.
-Ah, nevermind, she comforted herself. She considered it bygones.

How contemporary, globalistic, and glorious IS this! Marion and Clutterhead said, not too convincing. They were a bit shaken by the atrial fibrillation they had incurred earlier from the infrasound emitted during the inspection of the construction area. -Please have a look, Your Majesty; the beautiful paths, contemplate the colours of the tulips, the ponds, and not the least: the organic, renewable green of the windmills! And so they pointed at the construction roads at 6-meter width, the blown-up mountain scenery, the 33 areas belonging to reindeer husbandry which would no longer be of such use, and to the torn Island of Freya where the islanders cried from grief and anger over their loss. At the same time they witnessed how the cheaters invaded private ground on an illegal basis, and the landowner being arrested for claiming ownership over his private road. They watched the police defend; not the laws or the inhabitants who were fighting day and night for their beloved Island, but the cheaters.

– I beg your pardon! the Empress thought horrified to herself.
– This looks like a war zone, an industrial nightmare! The wind power will only generate labile excess power, while we will have to export our stable hydropower through staggeringly costly interconnections. The residents of the Empire will have to pay for the build and also have their electricity bill highly increased. This would endanger the mere existence of the industry and loads of employment. While it didn’t bother her too much, it made her reflect further. – I did keep a lot of taxes for hydropower and set up close to nothing for the windmills…This whole thing is happening in a completely unsustainable way, from cradle to grave. And what on earth is all this ado about power, should we not rather be decreasing our consumption in order to save the earth?

– Empress, isn’t it marvelous? The cheaters shouted as to drag her out of the seizure from aware and critical thinking, overpowering her like a bad dream. The Empress now became, if possible, even more, devastated than by her own distinguishing abilities, as she realized that she was not able to see anything alluring about this destruction of natural habitats. – Am I stupid? she thought, which was very far from the truth. – Am I unsuitable for my position? That surely is the worst thing that could ever happen to me! she whispered, but swiftly stopped her train of thoughts.

It suddenly occurred to her what the Great Abroad had informed her on the telephone the other day. – Data centers, Empress, data centers, and data storage! THAT will be the new oil! Verify our words!

The Empress had a very clear memory. This matter was discussed ages ago with her perfectly tanned minister Lindy Snobbery to Hell With It. Lindy, on her hand, had been given the information (from the Great Abroad, of course) that power production should be increased by 20% to make sure that the Great Abroad could run their data centers in Naivety. It was a bit inconvenient, the Empress admitted to herself, that these centers were vastly space-consuming just like the windmill farms, and that they had to be located in natural habitats or on the finest of topsoils. She also had a few concerns going by the thought of what purpose the data centers were to serve; the somewhat shady cryptocurrency, which in half the cases were associated with criminal acts. On top of this, one single payment with bitcoin was said to require as much power as needed in a two-person household for about three months.

– Can you imagine that being exposed! the Empress had giggled to Lindy most discreetly. -Better hush down the news editorials, they immediately had agreed on, -what possibilities when having them compliant! – Anything goes! they had laughed elated.
– And hey, Lindy! the Empress remembered saying while turning swiftly, pointing towards her Minister of Perfect Make up: – Get your gun! They had literally laughed their eyes out, rolling on the floor. – But seriously, Empress, these high maintenance power cables…everybody wants to earn money from windmills, but the Great Abroad doesn’t want the power from them, nor do they want the mills in their own locations, can you comprehend it? They assertively claim that they are harmful to public health, and animals too, can you believe that nonsense? Epileptic seizures from shadow rolls? Kills tons of insects? And did you hear about the man who insisted that a windmill had catapulted an ice lump as big as a DINNER TABLE? Priceless! Don’t forget your helmet, darling! Hahaha! The Empress remembered herself and Snobbery having a jolly good time, as Lindy’s thoughts were far ahead, planning which pumps she would wear opening data centers across Naivety.

– Yes, this is brilliant by the looks of it, the Empress smiled in her apparently good-natured manner as she walked through fully collapsed and irreparable remains from the Ice Age.
– This development is entirely in line with my political intentions! She nodded, seemingly content while observing 2500 gallons of machine oils leaking from a turbine which had caught fire in the powerful wind in the Empire. The oil was heading towards a source of drinking water nearby, and reflected the golden teeth of the cheaters, glimmering in the sunshine. The turbine had a sticker on it, displaying a highly overrated time of duration.

– No need to worry, she said to herself. This is similar to the times I and little Ice Bear Broiler In Trouble stuffed those fjords with toxic industrial waste. At the same time, she chose not to tell what her eyes revealed to her. She came to think of a lady by the name of NINA, who had told them that one had to preserve the earth in order to save it. This was even written and broadcasted on the internet, but the Empress collaborators made sure that this information now was difficult to access. Only the windmills could save the earth, and thus this information was open to everyone, everywhere, even to children. The commoners would hopefully dismiss the original information from NINA as fake news. The whole delegation looked and looked, but no one wanted to speak up.

Some losses must be taken into account, saving the earth, the cheaters proclaimed with serious expressions. A few minor sacrifices must be made, this had to be obvious to everyone. The cheaters immediately captured the need to sugarcoat the now somewhat dense air among the delegates, and thus encouraged the Empress to dance in front of a windmill, in the midst of a duck pond. The Empress was anything but a party pooper, always conscious of the value of incorporating a common people style. She willingly went over to one of the large pitches covered in concrete and pretended to wade into the water. – This is indeed quite a pool! she exclaimed, exactly in the jovial and sporty way everyone expected.
– It is truly the size of half a football court! Several people laughed out loud and were clearly amused, while the Empress and her ministers were dancing in the dismal pool of concrete. On several occasions, they bent down, filled their hands with the carcinogenic dust from epoxy lying on the ground, threw it into the air like dry leaves, and let it rain down on their faces like water from mountain lakes, to great excitement from the rest of the delegation.

– This really is something for ecosystems and human beings all across the Naivety, the cheaters called out. In the same moment, they deliberately and rapidly backed over loads of common people who were there to make a stand against what they claimed was the destruction of nature, a demolition that drained the Empire for its biodiversity, its finances, and its political and moral values.

All through that night, the slave workers worked like crazy to finish the farms before the mandatory, long term subsidies imposed on electricity customers of the Naivety would expire. Everyone could see that the workers were under great stress because there were few to no rules or regulations on how many hours they would work, what their minimum wage would be, or how poorly and how tightly packed they were to live.

The day had finally arrived when the wind farms were completed, and the summer caravan of GRK was on its way to make a reportage from the opening ceremony. The Gootown editorial was given the assignment of making propaganda for children and youngsters on how to save the earth. There was commoners present as well, and they were all instructed to tread as lightly as possible, to prevent any damage. The instructions were conducted by a man of many hats. One could wonder if he was playing some sort of game with his hats, similar to a clown. On every hat, it said: “Mix Magnus thinking green!” And there were so many names: GRK, Gchibsted, The Big Green ZERO, The Green Mail, The Green End of the World, The New Green Times, The Grimate Foundation. The Empress proudly cut the green BPA ribbon, and the cheaters conducted an imaginary circus orchestra playing the march “Pomp and Circumstance”. Everybody was singing along the best they could. As the last note faded, the Empress cleared her voice and spoke up:

Honorable Assembly, we are gathered here today to be presented to, make acquaintances with, yes, if I may be blunt; to enjoy these marvelous farms, this rescue poured onto us; the residents, to the world and to nature as such. Without the picturesque charm and excellence of these farms, deprived of their greenness, the earth would go straight under (and my reputation in the Great Abroad down with it, she thought in her neo-liberal mind). – This is why I, from the deepest of gratitude, have entrusted almost all of the Empire to these gentlemen who came to our rescue as we realized the urgency of this matter, she stated verbosely and nodded warmly towards the cheaters.

We were indeed right, Leave Bye Bye Non-Sensen and I, starting early to get rid of this Reversion Act, our Sovereignty, and those limiting bonds to our Constitution. Anyway, she smiled without blushing. – The mentioned are in your way, you who are actively saving the earth. – And who is running off with the money, welfare, natural resources, and rights belonging to the communities, the cheaters mimed robot-like into thin air. They looked like undressed petty Zephyrs or Smeagol’s, like Black Rocks covered in oil, desperately avoiding to rock the boat. The Empress continued, now addressing them directly: – The Empire belongs to you, the mountains, the coastal areas, our most precious island communities living in ancient symbiotic coexistence with nature. Take this biodiversity, all the bird nests and all living creatures in the air and on the ground, in the ocean too!

Smeagol, Rommel Tveit famous for New Speach and backed by Stasikraft.

Contaminate the drinking water, ruin public health and welfare, overrun the rights and areas of the indigenous Saami people and the public opinion in general, and do it fully. Dig for yourself from common peoples trust in me, and there sure is a LOT to gain there, that I can tell you! The Empress chuckled cheerfully. -Take it all, you are fully entitled to do so because you have saved the earth.

It was as if the universe dropped its jaw and had to make a gaping stop, creating a two-minute silence after these incredible words aiming for the stars.

The Empress awarded each of the cheaters, now countless from both residents and from the Great Abroad, by attaching a globalist pin to their lapels, one by one. – You are one of us now, it sounded sonorous, while all the cheaters hid among their thousands of communication advisors, also known as the gatekeepers of Lucifer. – It is rather those morons who are forever stuck in our pockets, they whispered poisonously between them and laughingly smiled as if nothing outrageous had just happened. In their darkened hearts, they were laughing the most hideous laughter one could ever imagine. And if there had been life on other planets, this life would have heard their laughter resound all the way out there, where there is no earth to save.

People stood petrified. In the background, one mountain range after another was blown to pieces. Easter Island turned into an uninhabitable reef, where only 8 neon green wind turbines resided, producing power exclusively during limited periods of suitable wind speed. Trailers passed continuously, in endless police parades from rotor blades and turbine towers, already sprinkling microplastics and pieces from fiberglass. Someone discreetly mumbled a rumour on where the turbines were made. They were called the Villages of Poison, containing toxic lakes bringing diseases and death to the people there.

The cheaters politely said their thank you’s. Then they invited everyone to join them for a tour around the farm. They bent down to feed the ducks in the imaginary pond. – Look how pleasantly green everything about this is, one of the cheaters said. – It is as if the windmills make the world soar in the air, not to say the wind! Like a castle in the air, don’t you think? and so on. -Yes, chimed the Empress and her delegation, – Like a green castle in the air, saving the earth!

– Yes, people said, but they could see neither farms on the ground nor castles in the air, for there were none. Nothing but demolished mountains, construction machinery, disturbing noise, and hazardous waste dominating sad remains from biodiversity. – To what extent these farms suit the Empress of the Naivety! they said. – What a green, what a view! The earth is saved! But the sound from their exclamations could not drown the intense, aircraft like noise from the turbines.

No one had the balls to mention that the farms made nature history, something to be explored indoors at a museum and that they were constantly killing a large number of endangered birds. No one would admit that the indigenous Saami people’s rights and perspectives had been completely ignored and all concessions been given on a failing and obsolete basis. That prominent scientists from the ETNU and their findings had been embezzled by the WLE. The prominent scientists had stated that hydropower could provide larger amounts and more continuous power supply with lesser intervention on natural resources at a lower cost than the windmills could. And no one, absolutely no one dared to mention that the windmills were introduced to the Naivety because other Empires rejected them. The residents in the Great Abroad had reportedly had enough of poor sleep, frequent and mysterious deaths among livestock, lost property value, and deteriorating quality of life.

No one would expose their knowing, because that would make them an outsider, one of the people who just didn’t get it. No, no one wanted to be stupid and unenlightened, everyone wanted to be seen as one of the premiér, one of those saving the earth. Furthermore, quite a lot of them had large profits, seemingly successful careers and faces to lose by admitting the obvious.

– But where are all the farm animals? A child suddenly asked. – Oh Lord, listen to that innocent voice, blurted one of the most steady grandmothers from Freya. The child, the grandmother, and several people among them were brusquely removed from the area by police officers on one of their first calls of duty.

But people had heard the truthful child speaking up, and the words spread on social media like a magical serum. – There are no farms! We have been ripped, defrauded! Our nature is lost! The inheritance for future generations! Their huge profits and most of the taxes fly to
Gingerbread Island! The cheaters won’t even pay property taxes, and where is the employment they promised? Where will we find peace and regain our strength when there is no more scenery to rest in? Our childhood paradises are lost forever! Our drinking water!
What happened to the understanding of natures’ intrinsic value? All is lost and our souls with it! The common people shouted in the deepest of disbelief, anger, and despair.

The Empress sympathized with them, she said, but still, she reasoned like this: – I will have to keep my guard up all through this fraud if not Naivety will be sued by the great Abroad who act as guarantors for these foul cheaters! And so she kept her head even higher and her ministers kept talking about the green, green farms, while the Empress hummed a song she barely could remember anymore:

Come May the dearest sweetest
Make forests over-fertilized
And may by farms and windmills
The violet be disguised
Their hearts are breaking in agony
And we will not change our views
Sure AU’s made a bargain
And we have fulfilled our dues

And oh, how many interests
One has in windmill farms
One gains a lot of money
One looses quite a few too
And as the birdie rises
And turns into frikassé
It can no longer fly high
It can no longer be heard

So welcome AUCH my greenest
Make trade union movements turn weak
And watch by farms and windmills
The violet turns bleak
I understand, I sympathize
But AU must have its ways
The North Connect is super long
And ACER most certainly stays

Admittedly, it was recently revealed that the Empress and her collaborators for a long period of time had been having a really hard time understanding and applying the AU Acts, and maybe rewriting them just a little bit for their own benefit resulting in severe abuse of the residents. Well, well. She sighed and looked at the crushed coastal line while patting one of the dying reindeer calves strewn around her. How incredibly beautiful they were, it occurred to her in a vanishingly fleeting moment. A dozen species, fundamental livelihoods, democracy, and one’s own indigenous people had to be sacrificed to gain this much, this was definite to her. – We better pat the reindeer before it is too late, she stated determined and felt her temperature rising with anticipation for tonight’s big event.

During the feast celebrating the windmill farms, they were to taste an entirely new menu. The Empress and her ministers would all wear pink necklaces and shoes, to make an ever so discreet campaign towards the Great Abroad. But lately, she had started considering a far more daring suggestion: The delegation dressed up in various Haloween costumes. All the blood, grotesqueness, and ghastly appearances would just suit the whole encounter so perfectly. Anyway, the Empress had peeked into the chef’s menu, and it looked like this:

Airborne, long gone Neodymium Soup with Brown Bread
Frikassé from Bruised Eagle on a bed of Crunchy Hubro salad
Smalahove from Wild Sheep embedded in an Edgy Roll from Fiberglass
Bank Beef from reindeer calf buzzed in Industrial Waste
Cloudberry Cream from Excess Reindeer Milk

This was to be served with sparkling water from a big well which recently had gained a resilient bouquet from hydraulic oils of finest origin. The Saami people would be so happy and proud to be serving them from their herds and resources on this grand occasion. How generous she had been, offering them to earn a little extra on this event. She assumed they would be forever grateful.

In the meantime, the Winter Mountains were transformed into an industrial plant of 72 mastodons in the middle of reindeer herding areas. The rest of Naivety was peppered with wind turbines, leaving no space to be in for people or animals. Grandmothers embraced each other dissolving in tears by the lost Empire. And birds were screaming, alerting danger, again and again

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